He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize