He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
