Come see our sink grown plant.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
