He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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