just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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