Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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