i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
