I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
