i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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