I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize