Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
