Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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