Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
