Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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