You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
