i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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