bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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