Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We got so high we made milksteak
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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