I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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