It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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