So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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