i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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