Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
