Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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