Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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