I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
