What a fucking waste of an outfit
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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