guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize