her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
