My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
