if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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