handjob tips. give me some.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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