Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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