FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize