How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
