You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
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Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
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Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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