how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize