If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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