I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
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