you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize