hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
