he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
