I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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