not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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