are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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