sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
