this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize