Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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