i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
