He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
