I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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