Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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